So I landed in Split, Croatia and despite my word-loving leanings, the math looked like this:
4 trips through immigration
3 checked-luggage check-ins
3 very different weights (all of which I was charged for each time) of my oversized checked luggage
$36.90 spent on drinks, snacks, and what may have been called lunch three days prior
1 almost-missed flight (Thank you, crappy Iceland airport team)
49 text messages
3 entire full-body sweats
1 90-minute nap
23 Between 2-6-minute naps
1 grateful, but homesick Jessica.
After all the travel, I was whisked to my apartment to settle in and meet my roomie. From there I showered and put on a dress to meet my new Remote Year family for drinks. I walked around in the dark in this strange but beautiful place for 40 minutes trying to find the bar until I gave up. I went to the Fast Food In shack and ordered a cheeseburger, pomfrites, and a Coke while a guy who once was the driver for Remote Year talked to me. I took my food and headed home. I watched some Netflix and actively missed home.
Ok, I'll be honest. I panicked.
I panicked and cried (probably would have been totally different if I had found the bar and been drinking). I had the time and clarity to miss everything I left behind. I was also more tired than I had ever been, sore AF, and I wanted to go home. Hell, I wanted to go back to...
F*$%, it was worse than I thought. So I went to bed and slept to escape the knowledge that this adventure I had been waiting, planning, and agonizing over for nine months for was something I was ready to pull up and throw the deuces to in minutes.
I woke up the next morning and gingerly went into our group workspace and started meeting people. Then I looked around. I felt some sadness budge. I worked for awhile and then I went back to the apartment and took a siesta. When I woke, I was more settled (not all the way, but much better). I went out to my balcony as the sun began to set and watched the Adriatic and knew I was ready to start this adventure.
**I tell you this not because I want to record every feeling and share it with the world. I tell you this because even when something is unbelievably exciting and new, it doesn't mean you love the things you left behind to pursue it less. In fact, it made me realize how much I value my checkered past and all the characters and places that make it up -- (Love you guys).